Slow progress is still progress — lessons from patience

Hanson Lu . Unsplash .

Patience is overrated, that is, until it becomes necessary.

“Patience is a virtue” is a maxim that is often overlooked and, quite frankly, a phrase I never understood. It wasn’t until this past month when I acknowledged the vitality of patience. After all, it is the antithesis of my personality. As a person who likes to take action as soon as possible, learning how to be patient was (and still is) a struggle.

Ever since I was a child, I was an impatient person. I often rushed tasks for sheer completion and did not care about the quality of my work. I did everything precariously, creating cacophony as I cleaned the house. For example, when I did dishes, I would haphazardly place dishes into the dishwasher, breaking a glass now and then. My parents were often irritated by how I worked; I remember taking great offense when my parents commented on my behavior. “You are so careless.” “You’re not patient.” Or “That’s not how a girl should act.” I later disregarded these comments, attributing them to my parents’ fastidiousness and viewing them as arbitrary.

It wasn’t until I started working when I realized the importance of being patient. At work, you only get to mess up a few times before your boss starts to question your value to the company. I frequently made mistakes at work that could have been easily prevented had I slowed down. As these mistakes impacted my professional reputation, I had to change my approach if I wanted to keep my job.

Having patience outside of work is especially important when planning your life. As a goal-driven person, I focus on the end result, getting things done in the most efficient way possible, however this approach can quickly backfire when working on a long-term project like your personal development.

To remain satisfied and motivated, we must remind ourselves to focus on the beauty of the process rather than be blinded by the attractive end goal.

This past month, I was blinded by my end goal, and it sent me into a downward spiral of discontentment. I lived strictly and did not give myself slack for failing to complete my tasks. As punishment, I cancelled hangouts, banned purchases, and omitted social media. Then, I started noticing negative effects. It was getting harder to get out of bed; I started losing my lightheartedness and joyous persona; and I developed an insidious hatred for my self-induced circumstances. Instead of addresses these issues, I justified my rigidity as the quickest way to reaching my goals. I continued this lifestyle until I hit my breaking point, documented in this poem:

5/13/18
coworker: “your aura was very heavy this week”

i got into a negative headspace this week
thinking the worst in others
judging others for their personal choices
choosing not to get a gift for my mother
bc i justified she doesn’t care for those things
living in a state of anxiety for my next few months
tormenting myself for having a low bank account
forgetting what i have and focusing on what i have not
looping of my fear of failure and lost opportunity
feeling pity for myself when really i have everything
shaming myself for my lack of results when
i’ve been working an extra two hours every night
in the direction of my hopes and dreams

this is what happens when i do not give myself alone time
this is what happens when i refuse to participate with others
this is what happens when i deprive myself of my basic needs
this is what happens when i obsessively project into the future

i psych myself out
for no other reason
but fear

this is the human condition
“time is of the essence”, i tell myself
when really, it’s all a fake
time is fictional.

don’t be scared, be patient.
there is only
me,
my mind,
my art,
my people,
and the present.

Ambition, one of my greatest assets, had become one of my greatest detriments. Patience was the vital ingredient in balancing my aggressive ambition. It was after this revelation when I stopped being so serious and gave in to the natural flow of events.

Cristina Lavaggi . Unsplash .

To achieve a goal, you have to establish the goal, gain any necessary skills or resources, and execute towards the goal until it is fulfilled. Staying disciplined and mastering consistency is the hardest part. But once you solidify your habit of executing towards your vision, let your hard work compound and work for you.

In the meantime, it is as important to have patience as your vision manifests, to revel in the moments, and enjoy the ride. Even if your goal is not entirely fulfilled, allow yourself to indulge and do the things you love.

Stressing over the pace of the process when you are already doing your best will only lead to unwanted frustration and dissatisfaction.

This article was inspired by Gary Vaynerchuk and his emphasis on patience. Check his video “The Ultimate Advice For Every 20 Year Old”.

This article was also inspired by an Instagram story posted by Nazanin Mandi, swimsuit designer and Miguel’s boo. It said:

“It’s very, very important you’re having fun and enjoying the journey while pursuing something greater…because great things don’t happen overnight, they take time…and time spent without joy is a waste. Even when you do reach your goals, it won’t bring your happiness if you can’t already be happy with where you are in the now. Have fun and find joy in the process.”

Thank you to Uyen Nguyen and Kofi Bonsu for editing this post.